Sunday, May 24, 2009

One Size Fits Most

I happened upon this expression, yet again, while purchasing a cloth brace for my sore foot. When I noticed the "disclaimer" I couldn't help but wonder what went down at that meeting table during the politically correct conference that so cleverly developed this saying.

I imagined what a few of the discarded, deemed non-politically correct, rejects might have been:
  • Warning: If you have ever worried about breaking, or have already broken a chair, this product will not fit you.
  • One Size Fits "Normal" People
  • If you are considered overweight, obese or morbidly obese, this product may not fit you.
  • If your foot is sore due to weight problems, this brace probably will not fit you.
  • In the event that this product feels too small, please do not return for refund. Contact your local chapter of Weight Watchers instead.
  • Warning: do not purchase if your pants are too tight.
  • One Size Fits Most People Who Do Not Have an Extra Stomach Roll.
  • If you are worried about his product fitting, it won't, put it back.
  • If the use of this product cuts off circulation to vital limbs, you are too fat.
  • One Size Fits Most* (*If you notice this disclaimer, this product will be too small for you.)
  • If you cringe at the thought of amusement park rides, water parks or an invitation to go canoeing, this product will not fit you.
I would love to hear some of your non-politically correct disclaimers, let's hear 'em! We can always use a good laugh.


Fat[free]Me said...

LOL, that is so funny! I dread to think what marketing folk say about fat folk when they sit round those tables (shudder).

Lynn said...

One size fits most size 0 models...

The Dash! said...

LOL you obviously gave that a bit of thought: very true too! Well done. Was good for a smile.

Anonymous said...

How about: If you lack the ability to breathe while tying your shoes, this product will not fit you"
I really really hate tying my shoes! lol.

Blubbery Blogger said...

Flip flops Krista, flip flops. I never leave home without them. :)

cmoursler said...

If you recieve bitch face while ordering food from a size two waitress, then this probably will not fit you