One Size Fits Most

I happened upon this expression, yet again, while purchasing a cloth brace for my sore foot. When I noticed the "disclaimer" I couldn't help but wonder what went down at that meeting table during the politically correct conference that so cleverly developed this saying.

I imagined what a few of the discarded, deemed non-politically correct, rejects might have been:

• Warning: If you have ever worried about breaking, or have already broken a chair, this product will not fit you.
• One Size Fits "Normal" People
• If you are considered overweight, obese or morbidly obese, this product may not fit you.
• If your foot is sore due to weight problems, this brace probably will not fit you.
• In the event that this product feels too small, please do not return for refund. Contact your local chapter of Weight Watchers instead.
  
• Warning: do not purchase if your pants are too tight.
• One Size Fits Most People Who Do Not Have an Extra Stomach Roll.
• If you are worried about his product fitting, it won't, put it back.
• If the use of this product cuts off circulation to vital limbs, you are too fat.
• One Size Fits Most* (*If you notice this disclaimer, this product will be too small for you.)
• If you cringe at the thought of amusement park rides, water parks or an invitation to go canoeing, this product will not fit you.
  

I would love to hear some of your non-politically correct disclaimers, let's hear 'em! We can always use a good laugh.