Monday, November 17, 2008

It's ALL About Me. Didn't You Know That!?

Throughout my journey, I have had numerous revelations. It seems that as soon as "something" dawns on me I feel strong and convicted. However, that feeling seems to leave just as fast as it appeared. So I really, really need to hold on to this one.

I was enjoying a nice rest today (thank you boys!) while my kiddos were sleeping and my wheels started turning and I began to pray. While I was talking to God, I realized that my prayers have a common denominator..."ME". Suddenly, it hit. My newest revelation.

Please don't get upset at me for JUST now realizing this. I have thought about this before, but never in this magnitude. So here it is- I am in control. Me. Just me. Me and me only.

My parents didn't make me fat. My friends didn't make me fat. My husband doesn't keep me fat. My children don't make me fat. I am in charge of, well, EVERYTHING! I cannot blame anyone else for where I am except for myself. I got myself into this mess and I have to get myself out.

It has always been so easy to blame my anger or depression about an injustice for my weight problems. So many times I have told my dear friend Kate, "If only I knew why I did this". This statement always bore a certain responsibility for my situation, but what I was really asking was, "What happened to me in the past that made me fat?". Was it my father's constant criticism? Was it my mother's lack of attention to me? Was it this? Was it that? WHO CARES!!!

I need to get over it. The past is the past. Only I can control the future. The rest of it doesn't matter. I can be anything I want to be. I can stay fat. I can do that, if I want. I can get fit and healthy. I can become an avid camper, skier, biker, hiker. I can be a happy, energetic mommy for my boys. I can be a happy, loving wife. I choose my destiny. I am my own worst enemy.

Why have I chosen to be fat, sad, depressed, angry, hostile...who knows. But I want to be something else, and I am the only one who can change me. It is time to stop blaming and to start becoming the person I want, and have always wanted, to be!


Simplymoi said...

A-MEN! We are in charge of the choices we make, how we react, what we eat, etc. Yes, we have problems in our past and we recognize that, but they do not have to determine our future!

butterfly said...

You're absolutely right. I think that type of awakening is crucial to this whole process.

Took me a while to take that pointing finger of mine and point it right back at myself. I control what I put in my mouth and not anyone else.

Kelly said...

Very wise. I love your blog.


Natalia said...

That is so true! I have recently come to that conclusion as well. It's all about choices! It's very empowering to realize that you're in control isn't it?! :)

Re: your question about my sister's info, here's a link to her website.

I think you'll have to copy and paste!

Natalia- Embracing the Weight Loss Journey

carla said...

only I can control the future.
that so resonated with me.
in every facet of our lives, huh?


Mara said...

I have asked myself the same thing. I am who I am because of me and no one else. But I also know in the long run I have over come what I have created.


Mara said...
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new*me said...

Great breakthrough! When that click just starts to get clearer each day!

Natalia -Embracing the Weight Loss Journey said...

Hey Lynn, I finally got the email notification on my blog. So you can put your email in on my site and you'll get notified when I post! Thanks!!! :) PS I LOVE your blog too! I look forward to your posts!!! :)

Manuela said...

It's so easy to blame others but you're right--in the end it's all about the choices we've made and how we've dealt with the fallout.

Some of us may always be on the road to figuring things out.

Sheri said...

Absolutely. I believe accepting responsibility for my own weight was my first step toward changing. We can blame every wee thing that encounters our life for a lifetime, but really who we are now is a direct result of how we chose to react, handle or behave in the face of any little or major thing the crosses over the path of our life.