As I type this entry, my band is somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean- far, far, far away from me. Our distance deeply saddens me and fills me with a horrific anxiety. Why did she leave me you ask? I don't know. All she said right before she walked out the front door with my 7 ccs of saline was this, "I need a holiday". Because we have only been apart now for ten hours, her words still haunt me; still so fresh in my mind. When will this hurt, this wound heal? I have been told to expect her to be gone for at least two weeks.
She has served me hard and served me bravely over the past six months. She was tired and she was too full. She tried as hard as she could to firmly grasp my stomach, but she was just too tired of trying to hold on while my stomach continued to swell resulting in my inability to keep anything down over the past four days. The ulcerated and painful environment that she was working in was just too much for her to bear. Her gallant efforts resulted in a ten pound weight loss in the past four days, but even for her that was too much.
I am hoping that in two weeks time she will be willing to re-access our situation and once again join me in this battle of the bulge. Maybe this "Band Holiday" is just what the doctor ordered. But until then, to ensure that her working conditions are as satisfactory and as comfortable for her as possible, I will be taking a daily regimen of ibuprofen, steroids and a proton pump inhibitor.
How will I deal with this sudden separation of such a crucial "person" in my life? I am hoping to deal with my pain through exercise and focusing on my health rather than indulging in copious amounts of food to drown my sorrows.
I do hope that she hurries home. I am so scared to be apart from her. So scared.