I feel like I need to address a few wrinkles. In my last post about downing two pints of ice cream, I completely, totally, 100% take ALL responsibility for having such junk in my freezer. That was definitely my fault. Even though I have the band, I am still overcome by my old urges. It will be a continual task for me, I am sure. But I do realize that I have no business bringing that garbage into my house. I just can't have it in there. Lesson learned. I passed the ice cream section at the grocery store yesterday and I averted my eyes, and held my head high.
It seems like I have done a bit of blogging, okay a LOT of blogging, lately about my consumption of ice cream. It has become my crutch during my moments of weakness. I seem to blog during those moments making it appear as though I sit around eating ice cream all day.
I haven't been very diligent about blogging all of my good news. Why? I don't know really. I need to be blogging about all of the miles I am running. All of the healthy choice victories. About a pound lost here or there. But, I just feel like my life is SO darn boring. The thought about logging in to report that I ran two miles tonight, ate well that day, or lost a pound seems like news that I SHOULD be reported daily. BUT, alas, I am lazy.
It seems that I only blog about things that I do wrong, or when I am feeling scared along my journey, and that is not fair. It's not fair to me, because I am not giving myself positive credit and reinforcement, and it's not fair to all of the newbies or "wannabes" (used nicely!).
I will try to blog more about all the great things in my life, because there are many. For instance, the nature preserve near my house that I have NEVER brought my boys to because the fear of having to hike has steered me clear, is no longer a fear. Instead of avoiding it, I keep reminding myself that I need to take them so we can hit the trails!
Another wrinkle- I am NOT ashamed of being banded- at all. The reason that I have wanted to keep it hush-hush is not only because my husband's family is sickeningly judgmental, but because I fear all the extra pressure from others. I place so much pressure on myself, and I fear that having another set of people in my life who feel a need to constantly ask, "So, how much have you lost so far?" "How much have you lost since I last saw you?" "How much do you weigh?".
In an effort to avoid awkwardness, I have chosen to keep my banding a secret from most of the people in my life. My closest friends and immediate family all know, and of course all of you!
But, to reiterate, I do not think the band is shameful in any way, whatsoever. I am proud of all of you and I am certainly proud of myself.
Thank you- ALL OF YOU- for following me and supporting me on my journey. I appreciate all of your comments, whether they are the smack in the face that I need, or fluffy, I read them all and take all to heart. If I didn't have this outlet, I wouldn't be where I am today- happier and healthier.