Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Well, I Finally Did it

Yesterday was the day for my MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) meeting, and even though I still did not feel like socializing, the idea of sitting down for two hours while someone else cared for my boys sounded immensely appealing.

After dropping my boys off at the nursery, I headed on upstairs and prepared myself to socialize and plastered on a fake smiley face. I found my seat and placed my belongings down. When I hung my purse on the chair, I realized it felt a little loosey-goosey. "Great", I thought to myself, "I hope I don't break this chair".

Well, guess what!? After years and years of surviving through one of my greatest fears, I failed to continue that survival trend. In front of 40+ women (who are all quite thin- it's the area I live in, remember!?) I decided to take my seat. And take my seat I did, almost right down to the floor. When I sat down there was a cracking noise and I fell to the left. The woman on my right threw her arms out in an effort to "catch" me. To say I was humiliated doesn't properly portray the moment. What was I supposed to do, stand up and proclaim, "It was already broken, I promise!". I could have just died.

On my way to church for the MOPS meeting, I was reflecting on my life over the past week, and thinking about how I have managed to pack on 6 pounds in only 7 days. I was wondering to myself how I was going to stop my weight from spiraling out of control. I have been eating over my miscarriage, and I wasn't sure what was going to stop me.

Now, I am not one to think that the LORD reaps any benefit or joy out of embarrassing one of his children, but he sure did set me straight yesterday. When my chair broke I immediately thought to myself, "Oh, so this is how I am going to stop LORD. I see".

7 comments:

MargieAnne said...

Do I detect a sense of humour sneaking its way in?

I knew you were strong but to be able to find a silver lining in the wonky chair collapsing earns you my admiration. I hope you weren't too hurt.

Do hope it hasn't put you off MOPS altogether.

Blessings

Wendy said...

i remember breaking a bench once. it was very embarrassing.

Aunt of 14 said...

I broke a coffee table once. Not funny at all.

Bethany said...

Oh boy. I know that fear. I'm so sorry this happened to you! I cringed for you when I began to realize what you were going to say. But I still say, why couldn't it have been one of the skinny minnies? Ok, ok, I'll quit being snarky. :) I hope you aren't hurt! And if you can use this as a launching point--wow! Good for you! You go girl!
Bethany

carla said...

Im with margieanne!

Do I see a thread of OK LORD I GET IT IM ALMOST LAUGHING in the post?

I have so so had one of those "that which does not kill me makes me ALMOST :) enjoy MOPS" days as well.

xo xo,

Miz.

Dana Arcuri said...

Although it has been 19 years since I had my miscarriage, the sad memories are still so fresh in my mind. It was my first pregnancy and I was so thrilled to be pregnant! My excitement only lasted about one month because shortly after I had a very physically and emotionally painful miscarriage. I did not want to hear family or friends suggest that "This is simply mother nature!" or "It must have been God's will." These comments did not bring me comfort, only more pain. For a few months, I struggled with anger, frustration, depression and grief. For me, I needed to emotionally allow myself to mourn the loss of my unborn baby. I needed to work through my emotional pain.

Everyone deals and copes with loss in many different ways. Please trust that what you are experiencing is normal, that God still is very present and that He has beautiful plans for you and your future. Hold onto God's promises and trust that you can lean on Him for strength and comfort. Time does help us heal.
Better days are just around the corner!

Nat said...

This happened to me a few weeks ago. Fortunately I was amongst friends, but it was still embarrassing to see the pic of it on facebook later... in the pic you could see the broken chair, me, and a big fat rice krispy treat in my hand