Rant'in And A Rave'in

Today's Rant:

Why must department stores put the "Today's Woman" department in a "special" place that cannot be found without having to ask for help? Seriously, as if we didn't already feel alienated enough, they make us shop upstairs and in the back corner.

Gross.

Need Help. Fashion Emergency.

Okay ladies (and gents!), I am down 35 pounds as of this morning, and my clothes are starting to suffer because of it. I was looking at myself in the mirror last night and my jeans are starting to look like parachute pants!

There are two pairs of pants, one pair of jeans and a pair of dressier pants, and a small handful of shirts that I can wear. I am getting tired of wearing the same thing every other day, but I don't want to spend money on new clothes right now! What do I do? What have you done?

How have you transitioned smoothly from one size to another without breaking the bank!?

Added December 28th- I need size 18/20 (1xl) tops and pants for those of you who have anything to pass along. I promise I will pay it forward!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!

I hope your day is full of peace, health and family. Enjoy this special day.

34 Lost

It's almost 2:00 am and I am up because my three year old has pneumonia. I have given up trying to sleep in between his coughing, um excuse me, hacking spells for the past four nights. I feel so bad for him!

Oh, sleep....where are you....why must you elude me so. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Funky

I'm officially in a funk today.

I have a UTI (urinary tract infection).

I have gained a few pounds over the past few days. (?)

Everyone is irritating me.

I am down right nasty today.

Blech.

Just Another Non-Scale Victory

Last night before going to bed my husband thanked me for being such a good little "housewife" lately. He was referring to the amount of laundry, bed stripping and overall chores and tasks I have been completing lately. Which leads me to this:

If you are not sitting on the couch for hours a day stuffing your face,
you have a TON more time to list/sell/mail things on Ebay, do laundry
run errands, take naps!, clean.....etc.

Just another non-scale victory.

I have however, come across at least two things that are bad about losing weight. Yeah, I said it. Bad! The first being, as you lose weight, your hips start to disappear. This is not so wonderful if you have a two year old that likes to sit on them and be held all day long. I am having to use muscles I have never used before to keep my little bugger in place! Second, my jewelry. I am a jewelry whore. I have quite a few sterling silver rings that cannot be sized and most are a size 9. When I wear my size 9 rings now, they spin around and usually fall off. So, I hope my husband plans on making a few extra dollars here soon, because I need to increase my size 8 collection!

Oh yeah, see you later pound number 33!

Brrrrrrrr, Chilly Brrrrrrrrrr

I am down 32 pounds this morning, but still find myself in a weird funk. I am terribly grouchy today! Geesh, losing a pound used to be euphoric for me and would last at least two days. Am I getting greedy? Maybe. But I think my head is just in a strange place today because last night I laid in bed thinking about how exciting it would be to see 258.

On another note....

I wrote on the LapBand forum recently about experiencing chills, cold hands and feet, and not being able to become warm enough to fall asleep at night, even with an electric blanket, two comforters and a sheet. When I brought it up with my surgeon he said that was perfectly normal. He said once we start losing weight, our bodies have to learn how to account for the sudden loss of fat. Basically, its as though we have been comfortable under a 30 pound blanket for years, and then all of a sudden we throw it off! So we start to feel cold.

Okay, I promise I am going somewhere with this. Bear with me... I was laying in bed last night talking with my husband, and warming my icy hands under his back, and we started talking about how my metabolism has to learn to warm up. Then an AHH-HA! moment.

Try to follow me here. If we continue to smother our bodies with a fat laden coating, our bodies have to cool down, right? So, it would make sense that our bodies cool down by slowling down our metabolism to produce less heat, right? And of course when our metabolisms slow down, we gain weight easier. Essentially the more weight we pack on, the harder it is to lose it because our metabolism slows down. So maybe, just maybe, as we begin to lose weight, our metabolisms will have to kick in a bit to keep our bodies warm, burning more calories.

This theory of mine makes all the sense in the world to my biology/chemistry major brain late at night.

You might also find this tid-bit interesting; when we lose weight, we actually lose fat around our inner ear, and until our body finds a new equilibrium, it can make us feel dizzy. Pretty interesting, huh?

Starting to See Myself

This journey sure has been an interesting and very enlightening one. During the course of my life I have only gained. And if I had lost any weight, it was going right back on, and quickly.

Last year we got our Christmas picture taken as a family. I was hoping and praying that it would turn out okay, and by okay I mean me not looking like a giant heifer. Once our picture was presented to us I was overjoyed with what I saw! I was SO happy with it. As a matter of fact, I assumed the photographer must have done a little photo-shoppy shop on my face because it looked so much less "swollen" looking. I framed that picture and have it proudly hanging in our house for all to see.

I see that picture, everyday, several times a day in fact. And one thing I have noticed is how "fluffy" my face looks to me in that picture now. It's amazing to me. I have only lost a little over 30 pounds and I am already used to my "new face" in the mirror looking back at me.

In the past, successful weight loss was defined for me as severe, hospital worthy "morning sickness" with my two pregnancies. It's so weird to see myself changing, and I really like what I see. I am starting to notice my waist again, my bras continue to become looser, my jeans are baggy and my chronic foot issues are starting to resolve. I can only daydream about how wonderful these next few months are going to be as I transform into who I have always pictured myself being. The person I have always felt like, the person I have always been on the inside. A happy, confident person.

The 250s !!!!

Yay! It feels so good to see 259 on the scale this morning. It's been a L O N G time since I was firmly planted in the 50s. Now, I am already feeling impatient for the 40s!

My last fill has left me a bit too tight. I haven't been able to eat more than a half of a banana or a cracker here or there. It's even hard to get liquids through, but when the fill was first done, liquids went through just fine, so I am probably swelling quite a bit. I am going to give it through the weekend and see how I feel on Monday before going for an un-fill. I am so excited to finally have restriction, but this might be a smidgen too much. For the first time though, I understand when people say they can only eat 1/4 cup of mushies. I'm there.

Seeing is Believing....Right?

I've made an interesting observation over the past few weeks, and wanted to discuss it with all of you.

Last summer, I was able to lose 30 pounds. On my own. Through good old fashioned hard work and exercise. BUT, I GAINED IT ALL BACK and then some. Welcome to my life. That was the last straw for me. I couldn't imagine living my life always wondering when I would be "fluffy" again IF I had managed to lose weight again. Hence my decision to finally explore WLS after struggling with my weight for 20+ years.

Anywho, last year I had everyone tell me how wonderful I was looking and how my weight loss was very obvious. I couldn't bump into anyone without them noticing. My mother-in-law would carry on and try to touch me in all of the places I was thinning out. It was a great feeling...not being touched by my MIL, but having everyone notice!

BUT, I have noticed that this time is different. I have lost 30 pounds in about 3 months and no one really says anything. It's weird. Do you think that maybe people are scared to carry on like they did before fearing that I will just put it all back on again? I don't know what to think.

Now, I do realize that me feeling better, my clothes fitting better, my relationship with my husband improving....etc. is really all that matters. But I am just left scratching my head about whether or not people can tell. On another note... some farewells are in order for pounds number 29 and 30. Sianara suckers! :)

Another One Bites the Dust

Doot, doot, doot... another one bites the dust! Hit me.
And another one gone, and another one gone,
Another one bites the dust.

Another One Gone!

Sorry if this is obnoxious, but I really have to make a special point to celebrate every pound lost. It is way too easy for me to get down on myself and feel like a failure.

Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention that now I am no longer morbidly obese, just severely.

Only 99 To Go!

I haven't been feeling well lately, so please excuse my absence from Bloggyland. I have been trying to keep up, but have failed miserably.

After suffering with a sore throat virus, that turned into a throat infection and having to take antibiotics, I went straight into a nasty head/chest cold. I am sure you know the one, you are probably suffering from it as well! If so, I hope you feel better VERY soon!

So...because I have been feeling like crap (for lack of a better word) lately, I haven't been able to exercise. I am now down to 264 (I ALWAYS start typing a 1 instead of a 2!), but I am afraid that might be from muscle loss after not really working out for the past four weeks. BUT, I am going to celebrate nonetheless.

With my new low, I officially have less than 100 pounds to lose before hitting my goal. FINALLY. I am out of the triple digits!

Thanksgiving went extremely well and I am going for another fill next Tuesday. Not only am I not losing as fast as I would hope, but I am able to chew normally without really getting stuck. Two days after Thanksgiving, we had not one, but TWO cakes in the house for my little guys 2nd and my Mom's 60th birthdays. Temptation, temptation, temptation.

One major NSV that I am loving, is the fact that my husband and I are flirty and frisky once again. It's been a L O N G time since I remember him getting touchy feely with me. YAY!