Friday, October 9, 2009

Uh-oh, I Really Think I am Losing it



Folks, I have a serious problem. I CANNOT for the life of me get my act together. I have been eating lately like there is an actual threat of food going out of style.

Yesterday, I ate a bowl of cereal and some chicken salad around 4:00pm and declared that that would be my dinner, and I would eat nothing else for the rest of the day. THEN, my friend called and reminded me that we had dinner plans. Great. So, I ordered a taco and ate chips and salsa and sucked down a HUGE Dr. Pepper.

Determined to make today better, I woke up with plans to get some laundry done and finish with some house cleaning. All was going well until my three year old announced to me that my soon-to-be two year old had literally drained half of the tub's water onto the floor. The whole bathroom was flooded. The bathroom rug was under an inch of water and my bedroom carpet was soaked. I LOST IT. I screamed so loud at my children that I actually peed in my pants and scared the crap out of myself in the process. Now, I do have to say that between an upset belly and my little guy playing go-fetch with Me and his pacis all last night, I probably got 3 hours of sleep and no more than 30 in one stretch. So, I am dealing with some exhaustion today.

My head is messed up and to help fix it I have administered one King size Reese's pumpkin, an order of cheese sticks from Sonic and a small strawberry slushy. So, it is 2:30 and I have easily packed away all of my calories for the day already.

I need to be honest here, I'm worried about myself.

8 comments:

Robyn said...

I know how little ones can drive you right to the edge of sanity. There have been days when I literally think I'm going crazy. Try to find a few minutes for yourself to regroup, I know that can be hard with toddlers though. Hang in there.

Nicole said...

children were also often the reason for my overeating. i would reward myself after they had gone to bed for getting everything done and quiet by 9pm.

sounds like you need a little time w/o the kids. think your mom would mind?

Amy said...

Bless your heart. I don't have kids, but am a small business owner, so I have entirely different stresses. DO NOT beat yourself up over this. Take a few minutes, breathe...no, seriously, breathe deep and start over. Your band is there for a reason, don't forget that. You would have eaten a lot more if you didn't have it. Try to make different choices for the rest of the day and tomorrow. If it doesn't work, then repeat process. Hang in there kiddo!

Amy W. said...

we all go ape shit from time to time. And our weight flucuates thanks to some of the choices we make. With that said, I can't stop kicking myself for wasting a month going up and down with my weight just bc I couldnt pull it together! ARGH! So, what I am trying to say, speaking from my own mistakes is...stop. You can stop. It is hard. But, dont beat yourself up either. That is not going to undo it. What is your next mini-goal? What do you need to do to reach it?

moonduster said...

Days and even weeks like this happen. Don't beat yourself up for it. Just get yourself back on plan.

The past is the past. It's what you do now that counts.

Greta said...

Ok. Bad day(s). Now they are over. Clean slate. You will do well this weekend. You will make healthy and nutritious choices. You will remember that eating enough good protein and veggies will help your stress levels and improve your energy. It will be ok! Hang in there. Kids can make you crazy. Mine do. ALL the time. It is always something. Be good to yourself. Eat well and exercise because, lord knows...you need the stamina to keep up with crazy kiddos! :)

Sunshine said...

Lynn, It sounds like your head wasnt ready to make the changes required to be successful with weight loss surgery. I know it is harder without enough restriction but I really advise you to get some help now. Find a therapist that knows about eating disorders and issues. This happens to so many people. Call a professional and get some help.
I wish you the best.
Karen

momma2fi said...

OMG Lynn, I did the same thing today! I just had a tough day with my lil one. She was in RARE form, let me tell you! So I got stuff to make chips and cheese, complete with sour cream and salsa. To finish, Ben and Jerrys. Ugh. But tomorrow I am going to work out HARD!!!!! In a way, personally, I think it is perfectly fine to splurge every now and then, as long as we get back on the horse. Yee-haw!