Wednesday, October 27, 2010

"I Know You Have the Lapband"

I was outside playing with my boys yesterday when a neighbor pulled up. I walked towards her van to greet her and she said there was something that she would like to talk to me about.


Now, this neighbor has been trying to lose weight and has been struggling lately. But, I still wasn't sure where she was going.

THEN- she dropped the bomb. She proceeded to say, "Well, I know what you had done, and I am thinking about getting it done also, but I had some questions".

GASP :0 ! I tried to play dumb, but internally I started to panic.

I have kept my banding a "secret" for over a year, and I had intended on keeping it that way. But, when you put your story out here in cyber-space, nothing is private anymore. Even though I blog with my middle name, she was able to find me while researching the band.

Now- two things:
1. I can be a total biatch and make her feel bad.
2. I can support her, now that she knows.

I plan on choosing #2. But, I am feeling so disappointed today. I have to be honest. And neighbor, if you are reading this, please don't be upset. Just know, like I said before, it's so hard to share without feeling like you have some anonymity.

If you went on the evening news and told the World about my banding, I would be shocked and horrified. But, the truth is, this is my life. Just little old me. And after the World found out, they would quickly forget and go about their normal business.

I just can't help but feel that those who aren't struggling (or who have never struggled) might not understand my choice. After all, how hard is it to put the food down and move our asses!? Right!?

Just because I have the band does not mean I purchased a "get out of jail free" card for $25,000. What it means is that I reached the end of my rope and that I needed a tool to get me pointed in the right direction. A compass of sorts- that's it- my band is my compass. I can choose to use it and go in the right direction, or I can shove it in my pocket and go South.

Upon finding out, my other neighbors might be judgmental, or feel as though I cheated in some way and that the glory of weight loss isn't mine to hold high. The neighbor who found out has promised to respect my privacy 100%, and I really respect her for that. She is a good person, and I trust in her that she will do the right thing.

The cats out of the bag folks... running freely. What a small, small World we live in.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Too Much

I have SO much I want to talk (write) about, but I have been too darn busy!!! I am hoping that I will have some time to sit down and put some thoughts and feelings into words later tonight.

I'm alive. ;)

Hope you are all doing well!