Tuesday, September 29, 2009

1 Pound

I was happy to see that my scale no longer resents me this morning. It accepted my apologies by gifting me with a 1 pound loss.

I happily announced the news to my husband, to which he replied, "One pound, huh. And that's a big deal? I mean I can lose a pound in ten seconds."

Thanks honey, I know. I know.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

I've Had my Fill and Then Some

Well, I had my first fill last Thursday, I just stink at blogging lately. Sometimes I feel that I shouldn't blog unless I have something profoundly wise or positive to contribute.

My fill went swimmingly. I was a little apprehensive, but after a quick pinch and a little burn it was all done! The FNP added 3 cc s, and I quickly scheduled my next fill for the 7th of October. I am NOT wasting any time messing around with finding my "sweet spot".

I have found that food does not go down as well as it has been, so I can definitely feel the increase in restriction. BUT, I am still having a problem not eating too much. I am confusing the "stuck" feeling with fullness and vice versa. Am I full? Should I stop? My head hunger has been getting in the way. It is hard to wrap my head around eating less when my brain tells me I haven't eaten enough. It's very strange. So, just like I wrote in my last post, I am working hard at forming new, healthier habits.

I had to grab Wendy's while I was out and about today, and I opted for a kid's meal with chicken nuggets and a diet coke. I was only able to eat the nuggets because french fries are a big no-no for me. In the past my meal would have been MUCH LARGER. My left over "sick" self is constantly thinking of ways to sabotage myself. I need to get a grip! I have days where I just set myself up for failure. I have failed at all of my last attempts, so I am obviously going to fail again. The little voice needs to find a new tag line, because that one is getting old!


Now that food isn't the love of my life, I have found a new passion. SHOPPING. It's bad. Really, really bad. I buy and return. Buy some more and then return some more. Buy. Buy again. Feel guilty when my husband threatens that we have to sell our house. Wait a few days. Buy. Return and return. *SIGH* I am deep in the throws of trying to complete my sons' wardrobes for the Fall/Winter so I unfortunately have an excuse. I buy sale items and then return them when they go further on sale only to buy them again. I have made a nifty little game out of saving as much moola as possible while spending money. It keeps me busy.

Ahhhhh, yes. A fellow blogger just reminded me- in addition to shopping, cleaning and doing laundry (yes, laundry) have actually become a pastime as well.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Old Habits Die Hard. Real Hard.

I drove home from my parents' house today and I am exhausted. I decided it would be a good idea to stop for lunch at one of our favorite burger joints when my little ones' hunger began protesting while still on the road. What did I get? A grilled chicken sandwich with an ice water? Nope. I ordered a HUGE Mr. Pibb, a large cheese burger, a milkshake and a large french fry.

Ha, ha, ha, as if!

My poor nutrition deprived brain wasn't thinking, like always, and I fell right into 30 years of old habits. The good news?

I wasn't able to eat it all, not even close. I only nibbled on my burger, ate 2-3 fries, drank a few sips of my soda and the milkshake was a complete bust. THANK GOD FOR MY BAND. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

Now that I am home I am completely devoted to getting right back on track. I am going to exercise tonight and plan on eating a VERY light dinner. I am so looking forward to my fill THIS Thursday! Woot!

Friday, September 11, 2009


I finally had some NSVs today- two weeks after my surgery. I have been feeling poorly about not losing weight quicker than I have been, so having some non-scale victories were certainly welcome!

We had a get together with a bunch of friends tonight and I was scrounging for something to wear. I grabbed my jean capris and hesitantly pulled them up. Now, normally I have to s-q-u-e-e-z-e into them and suck in my stomach as much as possible to button them up. I expected the squeezing to be worse because they had just come out of the dryer!

But, to my surprise- right up they went, and no sucking in was required! Woo-hoo. There was even some extra room so they didn't look like they were painted on me.

Once we got to the gathering I noticed the spread- chips, dips, cookies, brownies, soda.... the works. I realized that nothing looked appealing to me...nothing. I didn't even feel hunger or that I needed to use self-restraint. Another NSV. Normally in social settings, I eat out of nervousness and because the food looks so darn good! Not tonight. Not a single nibble.

The scale has started to move down again, not by much, but it's moving. I'll take slow and steady in the right direction anyday over being 50 pounds heavier this time next year.

I hope you have a great weekend!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The Damage & The Damage

It has been a week and four days since my surgery and a LOT has happened. My best friend came for a visit to help care for me and the boys and we ended up going to Myrtle beach over the weekend. The change of scenery was great, but my food selection, not the best. I did what I could and nibbled here and there, and chewed, chewed and chewed well! When I left I was down to 275 from 290 and I expected to be in the 260s by the time I got home because of how little I could eat, that and I ended up with a fluky stomach bug and was sick at both...well you know the rest.

But, alas, upon my return home the scale read 277. I am going to forget the scale and concentrate on healing for now. I also realize that my appetite is going to increase from here until my first fill in about another three weeks or so. I am prepared for that, but also discouraged that the hunger monster is already rearing it's ugly head. Now...on to the damage:

Check this out!:
(And this doesn't include the $3,000 worth of pre-op testing. CRAZY. $27,000 in all.)

1 week, four days Post-op:

1 Day after Surgery:

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

5 Days In

It's been five days since I was banded, and things are going pretty well. I arrived at the hospital at 10:15 on Saturday morning and was called back about 45 minutes later to begin prepping for surgery. Everyone was very nice and things progressed smoothly. I had to strip down and put on the hospital gown and compression hose. When it was time to put on my gown, I noticed that the nurse had dropped off an extra one- just in case. Well, the extra one was the size of a small house, so in order to preserve a shred of my dignity, I put on the smaller one which fit just fine.

Once my IV was in and my belly was all washed I was off to the second holding room where they fitted me with a gorgeous hospital hairnet. I was there for a total of 10 minutes or so and then I was whisked away into the operating room. Once I got there, it seemed like ten different people confirmed who I was and what surgery I was going to have. (I guess they didn't want to amputate the wrong leg! :)) Of course the room was freezing, but all the techs. were super nice and they moved like there was a race to be won- which was a little unnerving. One lady was strapping me down and placing warm towels on my body while another was placing "boots" on my lower legs which massaged them during the surgery to increase circulation and help prevent blood clots from forming. That felt nice for all of two minutes, because before I knew it, the nurse anesthetist told me she was putting something in my IV to help calm me and I passed out a second later. I was gone.

"Diane...Diane....you need to cough for me honey. Diane? Diane, you need to breath honey, you're not breathing....come on honey....breath."

Where was I? And who the heck was Diane? Oh no! Maybe they DID preform the wrong surgery after all.

I finally came around and the nurse took out the intubation tubing that was still in my throat.

"Diane, honey you need to breath."

No, no, my name is Lynn.

"Diane, I know it hurts, but I can't give you any more morphine."

No, my name is L y n n. (I couldn't talk because my throat was all sore and scratchy.)

"Diane, I can't give you any more pain medicine because you have already had too much, that is why you are having a hard time breathing."

No, my name is LYNN. Finally it came out.

"Oh, I am so sorry. My sisters' names are Lynn and Diane and when I heard your name, I was thinking I wouldn't forget it".

PHEW. That means the right surgery had been preformed after all.

Right then, my surgeon came around the corner and told me that everything went smoothly and that I was all done. I nodded and went back to sleep. I woke up in the recovery room where my husband was able to join me. My husband told me that the surgeon said that my hernia was more severe then he had suspected, so I immediately assumed that I was no longer a candidate for single incision surgery and expected to see five or six holes. They kept me there for about an hour and made sure that I could walk, pee and drink water. The water tasted nasty so I made my husband drink it, but only after making sure that I could keep a few swallows down. While I was getting dressed I looked down at my poor belly only to see a beat up belly button and one small little hole just below my two breasts. My surgeon was able to do the banding and correct the hernia all through my belly button, but the hole at the top was for an instrument that held my liver out of the way. They reviewed my diet restrictions and I was home by 5:00pm. I ended up sleeping for almost three whole days, and even five days later, I am still wanting to sleep all the time.

I am thinking that at this point, I am just weak and tired from a lack of calories. It's really hard to only have 200-300 calories a day while you are healing from surgery. But I have to say, it is definitely getting easier. My best friend Kate came up with her girls to stay with me and help with my boys. She is such a God sent.

I have lost 14 pounds over the past six days and I am looking forward to what my future holds. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, no regrets.