Friday, August 15, 2008

The Warm Fuzzies

After my last honesty post, I have come to a major realization. It wasn't hard at all to confess my weight loss wrong doing because this one felt different for me somehow. I have talked with my friend Kate many times about how while on the way to a binge, we won't call one another in fear of actually being talked out of our quest. Once I have the idea in my head, I don't want anyone knowing about it until it's all over. It's so much more fun to bitch about guilt than to be told that I should go for a walk or eat an apple instead. So time for my realization.

After my 1,200 calorie binge yesterday I realized that I felt no sense of "relief". I didn't feel all warm, fuzzy and numb. It seemed as though my "good friend" had failed me. Every bite was disgusting and I told myself the whole time how this just wasn't doing it for me anymore. This is huge for me because once I had eaten all that sugary poison, I couldn't help but feel an ingraining into my brain that binging is NOT worth it anymore.

It appears as though I have made concrete strides towards my effort to change myself permanently this time. My old self is tempted to over indulge, but my healthier, weight losing self seems to really understand this time that food is not the answer. This is HUGE for me folks. I just hope that this sunny thought will shed light on any future clouds of bad judgment.

4 comments:

Fat Free Me said...

Given yourself a 'fireworks' show yet?? That's one heck of a moment, Lynn. So, my leading question is: what WILL 'do it' for you now? Have you come up with any worthwhile replacements? (Let me know if you have, b/c I could use some good ideas!)

Simplymoi said...

Talk about woohoo moments! It wasn't that long ago that I remember thinking the same thing: binging is going to help take care of whatever is bothering me....except it only added to it! It wasn't making me feel good at all and now I am able to stop them before they start! I still eat too much (although the walking is still going good) but I don't go waaaay overboard into emotional binging. next time you start going for them..even if you've already started..it's never too late to stop and remind yourself that it doesn't work anymore!

Cammy said...

Great realization for your future. Now, if you can take a moment to think about it before overindulging, you can weigh out the cost-benefit of it all. Good for you!

new*me said...

your sunny thought was beautiful and honest ;) Great moment for you!