Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Smelling the Roses

I can't help but feel like for every step I take in the right direction, I also take two steps back. Over the past few months, I have lost weight, made better and healthier decisions about food and worked on changing my food and weight mentality. However, I have also slipped back into a cycle of stress, anxiety and depression.
I feel as though I have cinder blocks strapped to my feet holding me back whenever a small part of me wants so badly to move ahead quickly. I just put my baby to bed, and while I was nursing him I was struck with a wave of fear about how much further I have to go. I have at least 65 pounds to lose before I even get to declare residency in Onederland. I am trying so hard to focus on how far I have come, but I am so impatient by nature. I am severely Type "A". I feel so flustered when there is nothing at all to be feeling flustered about. So, my point here is having a "task" that I cannot complete NOW or in a timely manner really seems to stress me out. I want very much to enjoy this journey and smell the roses along the way. I just don't know how to change who I am by nature to make that possible. I know, and keep telling myself, that "slow and steady wins the race". I just need to start trusting that.

11 comments:

Fat Free Me said...

I'm right there with you...wishing I had some way to cut this blubber off my body. And then I couldn't help but be reminded, that maybe this was that little bit of pain that prevents the future re-gain from happening. If, after we're at goal, we realize what amazing strength and work it took to get us there, perhaps we'll be THAT much less likely to risk re-gaining. For now, it's a plus just to look at where we were about 2 months ago...it's progress, right?

Cristina said...

Exactly...slow progress is better than no progress.
Maybe you should try making short term goals that seem more attainable and then when you reach them, you reset the goal. Maybe 50lbs at a time? Just a thought...

Cammy said...

I know how you feel, honestly. One way I made it this far was by making the journey a series of 10-lb goals. It took achieving the second goal to really start building momentum, and in the meantime I was seeing positive body changes, which kept me committed. Hang in there!

nmburleson said...

I know what you mean. Slow will get you there! What I have been doing this time around is the name of my blog. I've been embracing the journey. Instead of focusing on how far I have to go I've been trying very hard to keep myself in today. How far we have to go (to get to our goal) really doesn't matter because when you get right down to it, we only have today. So, we might as well enjoy it and find something to celebrate everyday. I'm learning that I don't need to focus on what I did wrong yesterday and it doesn't matter what I do tomorrow, it's all about today!

You are doing this! Doesn't matter how fast or slow, just that you are! Hang in there! :)

Irish Mom said...

I have blogged numerous times about the same thing!! Oh so frustrating. I agree with Cammy on breaking it down into 10 pound increments. Seeing a huge task is daunting, but several smaller tasks are so much easier to tackle. You've done so well already, keep that in mind. You ARE doing it!!

Bethany said...

Yes, I hear you and I'm with you! I'm proud of my success so far, but there just doesn't seem to be much difference. A lot of my clothes are stretchy, so I'm not even really changing sizes: my clothes are just fitting better. And while that is nice, I sure would like to pull something out of the closet and have it just fall off of me! I'm wanting it to go faster and yet it seems like I keep sabotaging myself and slowing myself down. We will get there...I know we will! Like they say, the years are gonna go by whether we lose weight or not--it's our choice whether we come through having lost weight or having gained even more!
~Bethany

Allison said...

My mom told me that she read that rapid weight loss leads to hair loss. So just think of yourself with thinning hair, or bald, whenever you get stressed out that the weight isn't dropping fast enough.
Or find an old picture of yourself and compare it to how you look now. Guaranteed to cheer you up. :)

new*me said...

i was thinking about the fact that you are nursing. Your body may not be allowing a lot to come off....it's conserving some for milk production. It may be a slower process while you nurse but you are doing so much for the little one ;) Smile and breathe!!

SmushPants said...

I am very much the same way. I focus on the bigger picture and get discouraged because the goal seems so far off.

Life is about the here and now though so I'm trying to teach myself to live in the present instead of worrying so much about the future or being angry about the past. Way easier said than done though!

Funny I was just trying to teach my daughter about slow and steady winning the race...I should heed my own advice!

Simplymoi said...

Thinking about things in smaller pictures (10lb increments) is a great way to go! It took baby steps to get you where you are and it's going to take baby steps to get you where you want to be. What helped me out was that I started making goals in weekly increments. Since your food seems to be right on, start with a walking goal. Even if it's just around the block..you have started and that's the biggest step of all.

Manuela said...

Love your cartoons today!

I'm feeling that way about getting healthy. I want those meds to kick in NOW! I feel better but that dull ache is still there. Sorry you had to go all the way to a spinal tap--I've heard those are painful.

Always remembering to be thankful for my usually good health and that sinus infections KILL!!!!

Have a great week.