Sunday, June 22, 2008

Crap! Hurry!!! Catch That Cat!

Well, the cats out of the bag. I promised myself that I wouldn't discuss weight loss with my husband. The reason for that? Well, weighing in at 175 pounds for as long as I have known him, he just doesn't understand my daily struggles. I hate to say it, but he has always been the "How hard is it...just eat less" type of guy. *Cue cringe* Disgusting, I know.
I didn't want to include him in my last and final attempt at weight loss because I was afraid to have him commenting on my food intake. I just didn't want to hear him say, "Haven't you had enough?" "Are you allowed to eat that?" "That's going to go straight to your hips" etc... I just can't stand to know that someone is staring at my every move and criticizing my every decision. Just let me do this in secret with my best friend who actually DOES understand! Go away and leave me alone.
So, while I was creating my virtual model for weight loss, he decided to look over my shoulder and watch me. And guess what? Now he knows my starting weight and my goal weight. No big deal, right? Well, in the past whenever he has known about my attempts to lose weight, I take his comments as sabotaging my goals. For instance, when he found out my goal weight is 170, he asked me why I wasn't pushing for less? OMG. I mean really. Come on here, give me a break. His argument was that I shouldn't sell myself short by not shooting for the stars! Then he suggested I should make my goal 130 pounds. GASP! I am not sure about you, but 130 on a 5 ft. 9 inch frame may be pushing it for me coming from 288 pounds.
This coming from the same guy that told me, many times, that he is scared for me to lose weight because then I will realize I can do better than him and leave him. I know, I know. I love him to pieces, but obviously I have been the victim of his own insecurities. I certainly have enough of my own, I don't really need to be effected by his.
So, my struggle for the day is to let this pass and move onto tomorrow. With time I hope to forget about his recent insensitivities. I don't need him to be a part of this. My close friends, my parents, my in-laws, not even my family members know that I will soon be the incredible shrinking blubber blob. With God's help and the awesome support of my Kate and all of you supportive bloggers out there in "bloggy land", I WILL DO THIS. No ifs ands or buts, and that's final my friend. The cats going back into the bag.


Fat Free Me said...

You have to be kidding me. Can I have your husband and put him into a bag with a cat so it can teach him a lesson or two? I know he's lovable, but he needs some duct tape for his mouth in this regard. 130??? Ummmm, does he want your hip bones stabbing him each time you hug? Stuff those cats back in, honey :)

Big Girl said...

Those kinds of comments are exactly why I don't tell anyone, except the whole entire internet, that I'm trying to lose weight.

I know your husband is only trying to help you but it's not the right kind of help.

purple_moonflower123 said...

Gosh! My husband says the same things, that is why I don't discuss it with him anymore. I have made several attempts to lose weight while I have been married. None have been successful, because I have always included him. I have come to realize that I cannot do that. This life change and the weight loss that will come from it is for me and me only. Yeah, there are great benefits from losing weight (health, activity, better clothes, etc., etc.), but I'm doing it for me. I want to feel better for me, both physically and emotionally.

I know your husband is trying to be supportive, but it is not what you need right now. You just got to keep reminding yourself that this journey is for you and you are the only one who can take it.