Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I Could Use a Little Help

*Warning: Sound off below.

As many of you already know, I have two boys- one's three years old and my youngest is 20 months old. My three year old has been putting me through the ringer lately with his behavior. I was thinking he is just acting out because we have been stuck inside the house due to illness for the past week and a half. So, we woke up nice and early this morning and took a nice long walk. I was hoping some exercise and fresh air would help us all. Yeah, no. I just don't know what to do with him anymore! Everything is, NO! And now my one year old is starting to copy him. After dealing with this for several days, I am just fed up. The whining....the screaming....the fussing....the kicking.... I have just had it!

My mother-in-law is in the area, and she NEVER offers to help. NEVER. It drives me absolutely bonkers. I would just die if she picked up the phone and called me to ask if she could help in any way. When she called this morning and I told her I was going to lose it, she facetiously chuckled and started talking about herself. ARGH. Why can't she actually DO something? How about you come over to my house and visit with YOUR grandchildren so I can think straight for TWO minutes and MAYBE, just maybe, get some stink'in laundry done!?

I just wish, so badly, that the boys had a grandma that lived close by that actually gave a hoot about them. It makes me so sad that she doesn't want to take them to a park or just spend time with them. If she happens to watch them while I go to a doctor's appt. or something, she comes at the last minute and leaves just as soon as I get home.

I just need help sometimes. I need a chance to recuperate. Sorry for the rant.


Anonymous said...

I know how ya feel, sistah! My boys are about to drive me over the edge. They're 5 and almost 8. Luckily my mom is nearby to help out or I'd go stark, raving mad. I can't really offer any advice but you sure do have my sympathy! Luckily both of my boys start school the 20th, so there's hope in sight for me. I hope things get better for you soon! *Hugs!*

Anonymous said...

OK... what I have to say here probably won't be popular. But they're YOUR boys, not your mother's (or mother-in-law's). Grandmas aren't under any obligation to raise your children.

The other part of this is, tough as it is at this age, this is normal behavior for your sons. You're going to have to get it under control with some good old fashioned discipline and a lot of tolerance. If the kids get feisty (or physical) give them a time out away from the other child. Don't rise to their bating.

If you need help, hire a babysitter for a while.

Texas Lisa said...

Sorry you are struggling. I have MANY of those days. All of our family is in Cali so we know what it's like not to have any back-up.

Diane, Fit to the Finish said...

I am the mom to seven - five of them boys, ranging in age from 12 to almost 2.

I don't have any family nearby either, and it makes it challenging sometimes.

I'd just offer you this encouragement. These days go by so fast, and as much as he is trying your patience right now, by this time next year, he will be in a totally different place and you will be able to laugh at some of those stubborn moments!

On a more practical side, I began training my little guys (not your 1 year old obviously) to have a quiet time. And that time was sacred to me! It gave me a chance to decompress and be ready for the afternoon.

We don't spank, so we use time out and a lot of talking. For me, the "odd" numbered years were the hardest until about 5.

Take care, and hang in there!

Lynn said...

Fab Kate- while I highly appreciate your healthy dose of reality, I am all too aware of the fact that I am the one raising our children. In fact, I plan on homeschooling, so I am the LAST person who is "pawning" my children off to someone else to raise.

I simply wish that they had a grandmother who they could be close with like I was to my grandma. They love her so much, and I wish she reciprocated. My getting a break is purely bonus! I wish I didn't have to ASK for her assistance. It would be so nice if she actually offered, that's all.

Ruth Rogers said...

Awh, I'm so sorry! I wish that she would help out too. It's always nice for kids to spend time with their grandmother. Have you ever tried talking to her about it?

skinnyfitkate said...

Hi there,
I have a similar mother in law who is very busy. I have to ask her to help and she does if nothing else planned. Maybe you just have to ask more. Surely the more time she spends with them the more she will bond with them. I have no mother, she died when I was 24 and I sometimes think it would be easier to have had her around. Her being my mum and all. Just ask more and see if that helps...xx

Elisabeth said...

As soon as the bad behavior happens, smack him on the bottom. Do it every time, without anger, just matter of factly. It will stop.