I have decided to keep my decision to have surgery under wraps. Only my husband, best friend and my parents know of my plans. However, I do have another dear friend who has been weighing heavily (no puns here) on my mind.
I will call this friend, Joy. Joy and I have been friends for a LONG time, and she considers me her best friend. While we were out the other night, I happened to mention an incident that really upset me and told her that I called my friend Kate. She was immediately offended that I hadn't called her right away. "Why did you call Kate and not me?". Ugh. Kate and I have been best friends for (ever) over 20 years now and she is pretty much another half of me. She knows EVERYTHING that goes on with me; all my thoughts, all of my actions, hopes, dreams, problems.... all the ins and outs. There is NOTHING that we don't share with one another- we even share problems with weight and food addiction. I don't feel this close to my friend Joy at all.
Joy is a little pruddy- and by that I mean she comes across as being a prude. If I bring up the subject of sex or something even mildly personal, she blushes and giggles like I had crossed the line. Okay, ladies. Who out there hasn't talked about sex with their best friends? If I am her best friend, she should be able to share with me a lot more than I feel she does.
Okay, so here is my problem. What happens if/when she finds out that I had surgery? I am so afraid that she will be terribly hurt and insulted that I hadn't come forward with my plans. Honestly, the way she is, if she kept something like this from me I wouldn't be shocked at all, I would almost expect it. But she expects me to share everything with her. She has a tendency to be judgmental and I am afraid that she will tell her other friends. But again, I am afraid to hurt her feelings by not telling her now. I don't think she will understand my choice not to tell her.
What do I do?